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The detention get away by Tai

Thursday, 8 August 2013

In term one, my class and I wrote narratives about a rope hanging from the sky based on the short film below called Dangle.

Here is my story.  I am proud of keeping my story in the right tense, my plot, and where I put my commas.

The Detention Getaway

The boys gasped for breath as they ran along the alley way.
“Run faster William. Mr Milten’s going to catch us!” yelled John as they reached the end of the alley.
“Stop right there,” commanded a loud voice in behind them.
A big hairy face popped out in front of William and John. Mr Milten had found a short cut and they were trapped.
“You boys are supposed to be in detention,” he yelled as he grabbed the back of their shirts. “You have just scored yourself another hour.
“Let us go you horrible menace,” John shouted as he struggled to escape.


Anonymous said...

I liked the way they landed on the familiar chairs of the detention room!